What’s cooking
Fri, 11 May 2007.
So, I’m in the cafeteria today and I’ve been invited to the table full of Chinese co-workers. I can’t help but think to myself in a gruff cowboy voice, “Boy howdy, I sure wish they’d stop speakin’ all that asian-ese so I can understand ‘em.”
They are, of course, lovely people and went to lengths to break their habit so that I could join in on the conversation. We reached consensus about quite a few things. First, Australia has hot weather. Second, I am paying a lot of rent. And third, it is weird that I cook almost everyday.
Let’s address these points.
Well, Australia does have hot weather but that has everything to do with the global heating. See, Australians expel carbon dioxides at such a rate that by 2023, a politician will have made some sort of policy about it. That is some pretty fast moving policy-making, folks. Also, carbon dioxides anger God and he sends down angry beams of greenhousing.
Yes, I am paying a lot of rent. This is more or less on David’s advice that I get an awesome apartment so I never have to share the place with some metrosexual bogan from Mildura. Good advice.
And yes people, I do cook. But not because I want to. It’s because nobody in this city can cook me a decent meal for less than $50. And even then? It’s just a big slab of meat with a side of lazy handjob. (I don’t know what that means but I think it sounds kinda clever.) I managed to put myself in a neighborhood with pretty darn good ingredients and some of the most subpar restaurants. The only reason I cook is because I can’t pay someone to cook better.
P.S. I miss fruit smoothies. Americans don’t seem to believe in fruit juice unless it comes from a) chemical powder or b) oranges from Florida.









haha
Why the date 2023? Will this policy be made on a Tuesday?
Hrm… I don’t get the reference but I feel like I should know it.
tuesday -> budget night?
Great post Jack. :)
I cook most days also. It’s actually kinda fun to try to cook new stuff to extend my repertoire.
Do you watch Jamie Oliver? He’s a pretty good inspiration for stuff that’s pretty simple and quick to make.