May202007

Spider-Man 3 Rant

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I give this movie two stars. At most. It sucked. This whole post is filled with spoilers but its a bad movie so I’m sure you don’t mind.

Tobey

Photo by idealterna

The Good Stuff

I’m going to start by listing what I liked. I liked the symettry of some of the shots; little nods to the first movie that injected some fun. I liked the comic relief with JJ at the Daily Bugle, the character has been adapted to something that helps the movie along. I liked the action sequences and after all this time, I’m still happy to ignore that computer-animated Spidey looks nothing like costume Spidey. Kirsten Dunst got fired from an acting job, that was a nice touch.

Goblin and Spidey as a team? Awesome. What comic book geek doesn’t love it when characters team up to fight evil?

Venom

Venom was handled terribly. It was a token gesture. “Yeah, there’s a guy called Venom in Spider-Man. He does stuff and then he dies. Or something.”

The symbiote fell out of the sky. Don’t bother foreshadowing with even a shitty radio news report about a meteor shower or something. Just drop it there and have it live in Peter’s apartment for a week.

Also, Eddie Brock totally digs churches. He likes to go to them in the middle of the night and ask God to kill people. It turns out Spider-Man also likes churches. Maybe this can lead to a new villian.

Venom! Hooray! Don’t name him though, just assume everyone knows. Also, make his mask look as cheap and nasty as the mask in 1997′s Spawn. In fact, Spawn may have looked better. Also? We killed him. Awesome troubled bad guy with spider-powers and intimate knowledge of the hero? Not that important.

The Other Bad Stuff

Having hair in your face and lots of mascara does not make you look aggressive and angry. Someone must have consulted with George Lucas on how to make a character become evil. It made no sense Peter’s dark side could be so half-assed.

Peter strutting around town with his collar up and pointing to every girl like he was the new emo Fonz? A new low.

Harry looked like he was on uppers. Amnesia does not equal happy pills.

Venom writing a gigantic message to Spider-Man in his web? Don’t you think kidnapping his girlfriend and attracting heaps of press would be enough?

The End

This movie sucked. I hate almost as much as Batman and Robin.

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7 comments »

Daniel

Given I haven’t seen it, feel free to disregard my opinion, but: agreed. I just saved two hours and $13.
Chocoholic

Haha..my fav bit was when he was flying through streets on his web-cord, and out of nowhere this american flag appears. The shot goes to slow motion, untill the amerian flag takes up the whole screen, with spidy in from of the american flag… and the scene pauses….for a sec or two….and off goes spidy again.

haha….I laughed so hard :D
Lachlan

I didn’t mind the movie; I thought it was better than the other 2 (but IMO that’s not saying much). Also, wasn’t venom like 3 different characters in the comics? I thought Scorpion became venom eventually or something, so maybe there is a chance he will come back lol

The emo fonz parker was lame :( But the thing I didn’t like was how there was no difference between Parker with the suit on and parker with the suit off – he was evil regardless and they didn’t show any other differences.

Next movie is attack of Shocker, Rhino and Mysterio! Best villains evar!
Mike

In other news – have you seen Zodiac yet? Im wondering if its worth seein?
Jack

In the animated series, the symbiote could morph into his normal clothes or something so he never actually took off the suit until he realised he was turning evil. And the reason Eddie Brock was in the church was because he saw a dazed Spider-Man swing into the church. Not sure how they handled this in the comics.

I’m almost certain the symbiote will be back (even if Sam Raimi hates it) but will Eddie Brock be back? Hrm.

You think those 3 villains are bad? Silver Surfer movie is coming soon. That movie promises to eat a lot of shit.
Lachlan

Silver Surfer… Galactus….. erm….. that’s it? Who the crap else was involved apart from the other Heralds of Galactus (e.g. human torch). Unless they bring the Hulk AND Fantastic Four AND Spiderman AND Wolverine, I can’t see that movie lasting more than 20 minutes. But then again, 300 was only really 20 minutes long.
Jack

I still have not seen 300.

BUT. I have seen the Hi-Def (720p) trailer of it on my TV and it makes me wish I could get it on HD-DVD or something.

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