| May252007 | My horoscope guy is evil |
Well blog, here’s what I have to say for today: the guy who writes my horoscope is a smug bastard.
Today you might need to practice more patience, Jack. You’ve been working hard to make your social life come together. Things might be improving only very slowly, and you could feel a little frustrated. Try to realize how far you have come in the past few months. If you have managed to make only one new friend, that is a true accomplishment! Or if you have gone out on some fun dates, this is great for the shy natives of your sign!
Thank you, Mr. Sunshine and Lollipops. Thank you very much for reminding me of all that is good and beautiful in life.
Of course, I’m not angry at the horoscope. I’m just kind of pissed that it is correct today. Why can’t it be correct on the days that promise make out parties or water slides or both? Why is it only ever accurate on the “life sucks but at least you don’t have cancer” days?
I am making some friends, being very approachable and friendly with co-workers and even making chit-chat with the girls that brew my coffee (not a euphemism). So rest assured, I have not shut all my blinds so I watch Star Trek re-runs and wear nothing but a pair of underpants and Cheetos crumbs. I’m participating in society! I am contributing to the local economy!
Underneath it all, I’m kind of frustrated. The old me would be depressed because I would see this as a sure sign that Nobody Loves Me. But the current me is just frustrated because I know deep down in my heart that Everybody Loves Me and they just don’t know it yet because they’re too busy daydreaming about how cheap the tube socks are at Wal-Mart. But I will educate these morons; one by one if I have to.
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