| Aug052007 | Blog Fixings |
I feel like I’ve been cheating my blog lately.
For one thing, I keep starting all my blog posts with one-sentence paragraphs as if it’s some shocking confession. I am starting to become full of myself. Who the hell is so interested in my thoughts that they would be put on the edge of their seat by such a sentence?
I used to read this blog that produced some really interesting stories. The guy had a pretty punishing job where he dealt with all sorts of angels and all sorts of assholes. I loved reading it to get this little peek inside someone else’s universe.
But at the same time, his writing style kind of bugged me. He’d try to cram everything into these moralistic lessons. It was kind of like watching an episode of Scrubs. Everything had to be milked of its poetic twist and had to be reflected on to find the greater lesson. Reflection is great but it sounded preachy and insincere.
I’ve been self-editing too much lately, holding my blog to some stupidly inappropriate standard. I sit in front of my blog and I think, “How can I really impress people?” And that’s kind of lame. For me, writing shouldn’t be like that. When I think about my audience, I end up writing less for myself. It’s kind of like how that kid eats worms because he gets attention from all the other kids but really he’s got a severe bacterial infection as a result.
That’s why I look forward to reading Clink. She somehow manages to post every day and she writes truthfully, basking in delicious internet anonymity. It’s that feeling that I miss: being able to blog without the need to censor out all sorts of stuff. I’m in a bad position in that I am not anonymous but nor do I post about people in my life for fear they might find my blog and see my snarky writing about them.
I don’t know how I’m going to steer myself back on track. A lot of days, I find myself with an itch, a story that I’d like to articulate and put out there. After a short draft and some minutes spent questioning, I end up scrapping it and the idea goes back into my brain.
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