Paintballing
Mon, 29 Oct 2007.
Welcome back from the weekend! (Australians: Welcome to Tuesday. Not as glamourous but I’m sure you’ll all rise to the occasion.)
I went paintballing for the first time ever on Saturday morning. I had to wake up at 6-ish, catch a bus at 7-ish to meet a friend at 8-ish. Then he drove us to the paintball field and we arrived about 20 minutes late. Which is pretty good considering that we’re both lazy programmers that typically start work after 10am.
It was cold. Weather forecast said it was a low of 32 F (that’s the freezing point of water) so I could feel the cold through my three layers. It warmed up during the afternoon but I did not shed any layers.
Anyway, the important thing everyone wants to know: No, paintballs don’t really hurt. The rule at this field was that guns had to fire less than 300 feet per second. One girl did get hit in the neck and she was quite shaken but there didn’t seem to be much of a mark. I was only ever hit in the torso and legs at a distance and there was definitely pressure but it was fleeting, like being pinched.
I suck at paintballing but I can see myself getting better if I invested the time and money. I say money because there were some people there who were in full camo (seriously), they had a pod pack (utility belt full of pockets to store pods full of extra paintballs) and guns that would get you interrogated for hours if you ever took them to the airport or a New York City subway.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t score a single kill that day. I did get better with moving between cover and watching my back but I could not get used to how useless these guns were at a distance. Paintballs are slow and they arc as if you were throwing rocks.
I recommend: go with at least 3 or 4 friends, bring a change of clothes, pack a lunch, bring lots of paper towels and make sure people they’re going to get muddy.
Highlights: I threw myself prone and grunted like a big macho guy. My friend got shot in the mouth on the first round. I almost stomped on a teammate because he was wearing camo and I didn’t see him until the last second. Some guy pleaded for me not to shoot him, I was weirded out by this and his teammate tagged me before I could figure out why this guy was being such a pussy. I ruined my (old but formerly presentable) jeans. I caught the bus home wearing mud and fluorescent paint.
Do you reckon you would go again? After I went the first time I was a bit put off going again, mainly because the guy running the paintball event was an absolute wanker.
There are some wankers there as well as a few that are a few steps away from being criminally violent.
The people running the field were great though. They were very big on safety but didn’t baby anyone. They were out on the field in big bright referee uniforms and were pretty friendly. One of our guys even got a hug (maybe they knew each other?).
lol, I would have loved to see it. See what hesitation does, gets you smeared in paint, you should have pounded the guy with paint balls with extreme prejudice, and then turned on his friends in waiting.