box of Jack

I woke up this morning to find that a few bloggers have started writing letters to their 18-year-old selves. You can read about 18-year-old Peter, 18-year-old Clink and 18-year-old Molly.

I’m telling you this because I’m going to join them. So here goes:

Dear Jack of 2002,

Honestly, it’s only been 5 or 6 years and it’s probably too early to be writing you a letter from the future. But then again, everything and nothing changes in the span of 5 years so maybe this will be educational.

You’re probably cringing as you read this but you can’t look away because it’s like a beautiful car wreck played out in slow motion with orchestral music. One, you hate being wrong and making mistakes and, two, you are pretty bad at letting go of the past. So you want to know how you fucked up in these last 5 years? I’m not going to tell you. Don’t change a goddamn thing.

Listen, bad shit will happen. It always does. I could tell you how to avoid it all but you wouldn’t listen and you wouldn’t learn. You’re not as cynical as you think because somehow you managed to find some very good things in the midst of it. Awesome people that have taught you amazing things about yourself that you didn’t know. Awesome people that make you happy, that ground you in stronger ways that you can imagine right now. With regards to family and friends, you have it made.

Umm… there is a whole lot about girls that you don’t know. This is one area that you will fuck up. My only advice is to fuck up more often. Now that high school is over, you’ll learn that one of the biggest things about the adult world is that you don’t take chances as often as you should and a life dictated by fear and anxiety is not really that interesting to look back on.

Job? I have a good one, don’t worry. But would it really hurt you to study something else besides computers? Go learn Japanese, pick up some writing classes or learn how to cook. These will all be useful. (Yes, I finally made it to Japan. It was awesome but way different to what you’re imagining.)

But honestly? You don’t need to change a goddamn thing. Things have turned out well and I don’t understand what you were so fucking scared about.