8 Minutes
Wed, 13 Feb 2008.
Lachlan: what is this ‘i have butterflies about tomorrow‘ crap?
me: lol u’ll see, it’s funny :D
Lachlan: :( but i wanna know now!
me: too bad. quid pro quo, clarice.
Lachlan: yess, squid pro ro
“Tomorrow” refers to today, of course. Let me just start with, I accidentally told my co-worker friend about my blog. I thought he already knew but he didn’t and he’s smart enough to google my name and find it. Let me just say this: You chew with your mouth open and the sound it makes is really gross. It’s a disgusting habit and now I don’t feel so bad about you finding my blog (assuming you did).
Table Number 1
I went speed dating tonight. Yes, you read that right. This co-worker friend signed up and told me to join him so that a) he’d get a referral discount and b) he’d have moral support and c) he’d have a ride. Maybe I got totally used but it was a good excuse to try something new. I bet a lot of my friends would not have the balls to go speed dating with me.
We arrived early, a dimly-lit sports bar in West Seattle. I collected my name tag and watched the organiser shuffle papers. We were past the start time of 7:30pm and 6 guys had shown up and zero women. I was worried that I’d have nothing to blog about and the organiser was worried he’d paid for all of this and wouldn’t be able to collect a dime. He went over to a table of two girls and started chatting to them.
Nervous Guy came over to us. He was visibly outraged that the organiser had resorted picking up women in this bar and he would have none of it. Later on, he had a private conversation with the organiser and demanded his money back. He smelt a scam and he left in a huff.
Well, Nervous Guy, I can tell you that this is a classic example of when people talk about self-sabotage. First, the night only cost $35 which is considerably less than a first date with most women. Second, those two girls at the bar agreed to join the speed date and they were actually really great to talk to; so it’s kind of insulting that you’d dismiss them just because they had not agreed to this event in advance and paid their dues. Thirdly, all the other women arrived after you left and it was an evening of 10 guys and 10 gals.
My name tag
I can tell you that it’s just like meeting people at a party. You chat, exchange tedious banter about work and hopefully strike on a conversation topic that’s actually worthwhile. I have nothing bad to say about the women I talked to. The main reason is that it would be mean and they were very nice people, some of whom I’d even tick for “2nd date” or “friendship”.
I spent 8 minutes talking to 8 of them (the catch is that we don’t get to meet all 10 unless we take the initiative, I didn’t). One was, uh, drunk. One was kinda withdrawn. The others were very normal people and one was a brunette with kinda-geeky glasses and Ingrid Michaelson started playing whilst I was talking to her. (Yes, Diana now makes kissy faces whenever I mention Ingrid and it’s probably a good sign she’s mainstream now that I can hear her in sports bars.)
The night went really well. I had a lot of fun having 8 “first dates” with these women I’d probably never have met otherwise and I would recommend this to anyone that wants to do something a little different and doesn’t come in with too many preconceptions about who they might meet.
Some tips:
- You will have the same conversation over and over. Don’t be afraid of repetition. It’s fair game to re-use an ice breaker.
- Don’t ignore a woman because she’s unattractive. Be a decent human being and just talk to them, you might learn something, asshole.
- You will be exhausted after 4-6 of these. Expect the last few “dates” to be kind of sloppy and half-assed.
- I think you could actually survive this without a friend. Bond with someone on the same team early in the evening and share war stories afterwards.
- Don’t be drunk unless you’re hoping to attract someone that likes drunk people.
UPDATE: Did I find Ms. Right? Find out in the aftermath of my speed dating. (No, I did not)
So jack…get any numbers?
Yeah… get any dates? That sounds like fun, and even though I’m, you know, already with someone and kind of introverted, that sounds like it would be interesting.
The rules tell you specifically not to ask for phone numbers. What you’re meant to do is tick a box for either “2nd date”, “friendship” or “business”. If the girl ticks a matching box then contact details are sent out to both of you and you’re allowed to take it from there.
I guess I will blog again when I find out.
i’m de-lurking here. hi :)
i’ve always wondered what speed dating was like but never really got the nerve up to go. now i’m attached but its interesting to hear about.
Thanks for de-lurking, Ashley! :D
Most of the reactions I’ve gotten is that, yeah, people are interested but nobody really has the nerve to go. I say: do it. It’s a lot less scary than a real first date.
I reckon its scarier calling them for the first time.Any ways good work Jack, you are more of a man than most!
i bet that nervous guy is kicking himself now! oh, well, better odds for you and your friend!
Wow, I finally got Fubar’s respect.
LOL! Yes! I went to one of these last year, and it was nothing short of entertaining. I’ve been meaning to write about it for one of my “Flashback Friday” posts. Perhaps I’ll do it next week so I can link back to your experience.
You are right on with the comment about it feeling repetative. I got SO sick of talking about myself and my job by the end of the night! I found the whole experience exhausting. But, I’m glad you had an evening with conversation and hopefully at least a couple hopefuls. It doesn’t hurt, and it’s certainly better to put yourself out there!
Thanks for the heads-up…and for being a faithful reader! ;)
Happy VDay!
this was one of my favorite posts by you, jack.
very sweet yet funny.
and very informative!
20-Something: I look forward to reading about your experiences. I’ve been wondering what it’s like from the girl’s perspective.
Damsel: You are far too kind. Don’t ever change. :D