Aftermath of Speed Dating
Fri, 15 Feb 2008.
Like I said, I went speed dating. It’s been a few days and I got my results… zero matches for a second date, one match for friendship and zero matches for business.
Let’s just clarify that when I say “matches”, I mean “matches”. I don’t find out if someone ticked me for a second date unless I also ticked them, etc. The results line up with my expectations since I did nothing to really flirt with the women and any attraction that was there would be based on my looks (and my accent) alone. Whilst I am obviously a very handsome individual, there is no accounting for individual tastes and obviously the stars did not align this night. No harm, no foul.
So who did I tick? Like I said, there was no flirting going on and I ticked two girls for “second date” based on looks alone. We didn’t have any particular chemistry but I thought the risk was worth the reward. Actually, I lie; I also ticked the drunk girl just because I thought it would be funny. For friendship, I only ticked two women based on the fact we had a real conversation, one of them replied in kind. Who knows if a friendship will really start, maybe it’s just an easy way to signal “you’re a nice person” and nothing more will come of it. For business, I ticked no one.
In summation, I failed to play the game. There’s a reason they call it “speed” dating, you have to move fast. Flirting to me is a long, drawn out process filled with nuance and laughs and gradual exposure to one another. I am not accustomed to making a strong impression in eight minutes. My advice for speed daters is to go in strong and immediately flag your interest. This won’t appeal to everyone but it’s the only reasonable way of getting a stranger to agree to a 1-on-1 date with you. Try to work in some variation of the famous “nice shoes” line.
All in all, speed dating was actually pretty fun. It’s extremely low risk and great fun as long as you go in with the right expectations.
we did a “purely platonic” version of speed dating for our first day at our training program - you were given 5 minutes with each person, the exercise lasting about half an hour in a room of 30 so no chance of meeting everyone. Great way to break the ice in a room full of total strangers, though I wouldn’t have minded if it’d been allowed be non-platonic for some of the ladies :) Some of those original people are my strongest links at work today, outside of my immediate team.
Looks like yours was a decent experience though, even if you didn’t score this time around :)
I am with you on the ‘flirting’ strategy. I have no strategy. I’m not good at ‘it’. I’m either too in-your-face or not in-your-face enough. Plus, early on, I got extremely sick of all of the fun and games everyone had with the whole backandforth shit. I quit trying when I was in middle school because it just didn’t work for me. I also make a horrible first impression. I am definitely one of those longterm kinda people. AAaannnddd that’s probably why I’ve only dated 3 guys in my 24 years of living. I’m ok with that, though :)
I’m glad you had a fairly good time, though. Guess those girls mighta been wanting something a little different… Maybe next time?
No romantic interests…with an accent! I’m shocked. I could do blindfolded speed dating and probably choose you every time, because a great voice and good conversation last well beyond wrinkles, and improve phone time on business trips.
Yeah I think all the girls should wear blindfolds to eliminate the unfair advantage that I have over other men. ;)
What the hell is the business category supposed to mean? Am i wrong in thinking that it means simply sexing people up? or does it mean you want to go into business with them?
Err yeah… business contact. Like if they’re an accountant, real estate agent, lawyer or whatever.
i’m sure i’d be horrible at speed dating - i get distracted easily and have a hard time making a first impression in such a short amount of time.
I am wwwaay too chicken to speed date.