Moral of the Story
Tue, 11 Mar 2008.
Once upon a time, there were two workers, Anthony and Brendan. They had both joined the company at exactly the same time but after 12 months, Anthony had risen a few ranks while Brendan remained at his original position of a lowly grunt worker. Brendan became angry about this and brought this matter before their boss, Carol.
Carol considered this and said to Brendan, “You want a promotion? Fine, I’ll give you a chance. Go to market and tell me which stalls are open today.”
Brendan jumped at the opportunity and rushed out and returned within a half hour. “Just the one stall today.”
Carol asked, “What are they selling?”
Brendan ran out again and returned, “Apples.”
“How much are they selling for?”
As Brendan began to head out the door, Carol stopped him. She called in Anthony and made the same request of him, “Go ot the market and tell me which stalls are open.”
Anthony walked out and returned two hours later with a bag filled with apples, “There is only one stall open today, it is the apple store owned by Mrs. Kim. The red apples are $2 per kilo and the green apples are $1 per kilo and they have run out of Golden Delicious but she said there will be a new shipment tomorrow morning.
Carol smiled, turned to Brendan and said, “This is why I promoted Anthony.”
Nice story, huh? This story helps me to sum up exactly where I get my passive aggressiveness from. Allow me to explain: this story comes from an email from my mother. I’ve changed the story to punch it up a bit but the one-dimensional moral, tactless preaching and rewarding of the lazy kiss-ass remain intact.
Yes, one of my faults is that I tend to do things half-assed, especially when its things I don’t give a shit about. If you told me to go to Pike Place Market and find out what stalls are open today, I’d just tell you, “Probably fish and fruit and stuff.” My mother is fully aware of this fault because she has spent a lifetime sending me out on grocery-related errands.
So I can’t help but ask, why send me this parable that leaves a bad taste in my mouth and why not just say, “Hey, I hope you work harder at your job than you ever did for me.” Sigh, mothers.
passive agressiveness is definitely an inherited trait - my family is proof.
You know what? Ditto. On the passive agressiveness.
Seriously.
Ouch. Passive-aggressiveness is awful, and it seems that mothers are great at it. Or maybe just our mothers.
Passive-aggressive behavior is near the top of my pet peeve list.
I think passive aggressiveness is adopted by mothers after years of being direct with son or daughter and being ignored. I see it with my mom and my brothers. My brother would probably roll his eyes if my mom told him something like “Hey, I hope you work harder at your job than you ever did for me.” but would probably also respond like you did if she had been more passive aggressive. As much as they mean well they are probably better off just not saying anything.
It depends on the personality type of the kids. I on the other hand welcome criticism and as a result my parents have always been very direct with me.
My mom sends me random ass crap too, more so about drinking and stuff like that. Sometimes I wish she’d just say “hey don’t drink and drive” and I could just say “ummm where have you been? I never do that”, haha. That’d be simple.
Passive aggressiveness freakin sucks. It’s especially horrible working with someone who is passive aggressive. sigh.
i had actually thought the moral of this story was not to buy apples and i couldn’t figure out where you get the passive aggressiveness. i am so dense sometimes it’s amazing.
random person here, found you via yelp
i’m sure there’s some history between you and your mom that leads you to believe it’s a passive-aggressive prod… but i’ve found that a lot of people who aren’t online as frequently tend to forward every cliche forwarded message that comes their way, whether it be a useful tale or a crappy attempt at humor. so it’s entirely possible she is spamming the world with this and you just happen to be on the lucky list
Wow, lots of responses.
Ashley - I have also inherited an amazing amount of guilt trips thanks to my grandmother (my mother’s mother-in-law). Guuuuuuilt.
Deutlich - I can be annoyingly passive aggressive when I’m in denial about something bugging me. I usually exercise this aggressiveness through sarcasm and pointed jabs.
Poodlegoose - I think it’s the only way mothers can get through sometimes.
20-Something - It’s on my list too but I’m a severe hypocrite when it comes to peeves so take that as you will.
Alex - I begrudgingly agree to that. Sometimes parents need to find alternate ways to get through to you and it may not always be methods you agree with.
Katelin - If only life were that simple. I get a lot of crap from my mother about drinking as well. Afterwards, I drink.
Maxie - My friend works in one of those places where everyone travels a lot and when you get back you just take whatever desk is free. He took some empty desk and the next week the original owner returned and this guy took a cube next to the desk and started calling his friends and telling his sob story about how his desk was taken. Hilarious.
Nancy - The point I’m making is that my mother has to send me silly parables that don’t make sense in order to drive home a point.
Kim - You could be right! My mother loves to read me things that she picked up in the newspaper. She’s just discovering email but this could be the start of something.