Apr182008

Am I a Creepy White Guy?

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I call them “creepy white guys” but that term can be misunderstood and mean a lot of things to different people. What I really mean are guys who have seriously lust after Asian girls and whatever insane stereotypes that come along with that. Classic symptoms include a pretentious knowledge of Asian culture, asking for girls by race/nationality, ownership of clothing with Asian characters on it and actually knowing what it says and that general air of desperation when they’re in the presence of an Asian woman. Jinius has already said this better in her helpful article, how not to attract an Asian woman.

These symptoms in and of themselves aren’t that creepy. I’m not going to hold it against you if you have a foot fetish either. Whatever. I hope you find the feet of your dreams and an endless supply of lotions. It’s completely harmless as long as you’re not, say, actively contributing to the sex slave industry.

So, I think I might be a creepy white guy. Now, before you go on clicking over to my About page to double-check, I am obviously of Chinese descent but I’m not very Chinese. I’ve wrestled with my identity in this area and when I came back from Japan feeling really great because I really liked all the culture there until I remembered that white people love the shit out of Japan. If you are stuck for conversation with a white person, ask them if they’d ever want to visit Japan.

Another thing is that it takes one to know one. It doesn’t take me long to pick up on traces of creepy white guy and it stirs up the kind of irrational dislike that I only reserve for people that remind me of my own faults. Maybe it’s just the pretension that I’m allergic to.

In my defence, I did grow up as kind of an Asian stereotype. I got really good grades in Math, was really quiet, brought fried rice to school and suck at driving. So maybe that makes it ok for me to like Asian girls. I paid some of the dues. And actually, I only get along with Asians in similar situations to me. We have the blood but we’re kinda distant from our homeland. I don’t really get along with the Asian expatriates because they’re forever trying to re-create a little slice of home and it’s not like I can be nostalgic for a childhood that never happened to me.

So I think I’ve convinced myself that I’m not a creepy white guy, mainly because I’m not white enough and I’m too self-conscious to be seriously creepy. Creepy white guys still make me cringe, though. The way they look at my friends and devour their feminine Asian-ness with their beady, little eyes. They lick their lips and, in their minds, the women turn into succulent pieces of tuna draped over delicately-cooked balls of rice.

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11 comments »

xtina

there can be asiaphiles anywhere and i guess anyone can be one. but a lot of them tend to be creepy white guys who are into anything asian and want to date an asian girl for the sake and fetish of dating an asian girl. but there’s also the trend where lots of asian girls want to date a white guy. so it goes both ways. maybe asian guys are just out of luck with the asian ladies….. JK JK
Deutlich

I, unfortunately, know EXACTLY what you mean. The creepy ness is gross.

Gross.
poodlegoose

Your post here has been very enlightening to me. I’ve come to realize that. . .

I am a creepy white guy.

And that’s why we get along so well together.
Gyan

Hi Jack!

um…..

Hi!
Maxie

I wish I could say I don’t know any guys like that…but unfortunately I do.
CET

i can definitely relate to these words:

“I only get along with Asians in similar situations to me. We have the blood but we’re kinda distant from our homeland. I don’t really get along with the Asian expatriates because they’re forever trying to re-create a little slice of home and it’s not like I can be nostalgic for a childhood that never happened to me.”

do you ever get the feeling that asian expatriates look down on you because they don’t consider you “chinese enough?” i feel that way sometimes and i wonder if a part of it is the truth, that they really do look down on me, while the other part is my perception of them, that i automatically do not like them because i “know” they don’t like/respect me?

mucho thoughts on this that i’m not articulating very well, but just wanted to say that in my own way and from my own experiences, i understand.
Jack

xtina: Oh I know it, Asian guys are out of luck. But at the same time, a lot of them bring it upon themselves. Maybe it’s just time for some of them to grow a pair.

Deutlich: Do you get the same treatment? Or have you just seen it happen to others?

poodlegoose: Dude, high five. :D

Gyan: Hello! I remember you. :)

Maxie: So do I. I’m even friends with some. Although I do disown them when they start sniffing around some girls.

CET: I’ve never felt disrespected because I’m not Asian enough but the gap does certainly show and as a result, I can’t relate very well to them. Personally, I get frustrated and I feel like a lot of these expats aren’t willing to meet halfway on a lot of things. I feel like they spend a lot of their time trying to ignore the fact they’re now living in a different country but maybe that’s just how immigration works and its meant to be the next generation that takes another step forward with it.
CET

“I feel like they spend a lot of their time trying to ignore the fact they’re now living in a different country” – i agree!

i myself am an immigrant, though i came to canada at a very early age and was brought up here. i do agree that both sides need to be willing to meet halfway but perhaps neither party tries…not that i’ve put that much effort into it myself, but the times that i have tried i have been shunned/ignored.

i don’t think it’s indicative of how immigration “works” and that acceptance comes with successive generations…i think there’s a happy medium where one can be an active member of one’s own cultural community as well as the community at large, but being willing/courageous enough to enter both is up to the individual.
20-Something

who knew that a blog actually existed for “Stuff White People Like.” LOL!
chicky

i would just like to say my boyfriend is NOT a creepy white guy. he only starting learning about asian culture after we dated ok! its totally my personality and not my race that he loves ok!

i say boo to fobs too jack! gah speak some english!
jon

Yeah creepy white guys are a product of Hollywood. The media gives them “permission” to hit on Asian girls because “lotus blossom girls are easy and love white guys” according to the media. It also gives black guys permission to holler at every white girl who walks by.

Be proud of being Chinese though, but don’t be afraid to date outside your race. That’s the first hurdle to jump. Second hurdle to jump is to erase all the Asian stereotypes by working out, grooming, wearing nice clothes. Third and hardest hurdle is to talk to girls everywhere, the worst part is the start but eventually you get into a groove and you’ve changed your identity before you know it.

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