I Still Read Horoscopes

I’m a 23-year-old male. I’m also a Capricorn. Wait! Don’t run away! I don’t usually introduce myself by telling you my star sign. It’s gross, I know. What’s even grosser is to have it on a little business card that you hand out to all the leggy blondes in the room.

Anyway, here’s what my email horoscope said for today:

Try to make some time to relax and have fun today, Jack. Sometimes you get so caught up in chores and obligations that you forget what it’s like to simply breathe. Focus on the loved ones in your life, and have some important conversations with them. Play with your kids in the park. Go out for a romantic dinner with your partner. Celebrate the fact that you are simply alive!

This is why I am still signed up for a horoscope every day. I’m too cynical to ever trust those people who are happy all day everyday but my attitude changes when it comes to anonymous hippies that talk about celestial bodies the same way I talk about characters on TV shows. Plus this horoscope is good, no stupid predictions just something to remind me not to take things for granted.

My daily horoscope is woefully inaccurate at the best of times. Sometimes it is a fun game to read it at the end of the day and try to re-interpret the text to actually apply to my life. Kind of like what people do with Nostradamus’ writing.

  1. dmb5_libra
    - Fri, 25 Apr 2008

    Yes and I was supposed to meet someone special today. If “special” means random person that pisses me off, then yes, I’ve met someone extremely special. Or speshul.

  2. tiff
    - Fri, 25 Apr 2008

    celebrate that you are alive jack!

  3. poodlegoose
    - Fri, 25 Apr 2008

    Ooo, this makes me wanna check out my horoscope too… not that I believe in them or anything… um. Anyway, I’m a Sagittarius.

    “A chance to make a few extra bucks should not be turned down lightly today. The timing of today’s positive influences is pretty perfect, given that it’s nearly the weekend, but while the approaching weekend is looking like good fun, it is looking rather expensive too! Be prepared!” –taken from Horoscope.com

    Um, so yeah… this is why I can’t read them anymore.

  4. distracted spunk
    - Fri, 25 Apr 2008

    My horoscope has been spot on lately. It’s a bit ironic.

  5. Jack
    - Fri, 25 Apr 2008

    dmb: Yes, this special person was meant to teach you patience and acceptance. ;)

    tiff: You are alive too! High five! TV was awesome last night!

    poodlegoose: Well, planning a wedding ain’t cheap, you know. :D

    DS: Did the horoscope say anything about kidnapping and sex slavery? If not then you’re good to go!

  6. Maxie
    - Fri, 25 Apr 2008

    I’m not sure that my horoscope has EVER been right… but it’s usually negative and telling me I need to “wait things out.”

  7. Deutlich
    - Sun, 27 Apr 2008

    I always wonder who comes up w/those horoscopes, you know?

    But I LOVE reading them.

  8. 20-Something
    - Wed, 30 Apr 2008

    I’m a CAPI too! Capricorns unite! -PS. You’re pretty young and youthful, Jack. 23?! I wish I could be 23 again. Even though I’m only 26, but I’m still three years closer to 30 than you are! ;)

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