box of Jack

I was tagged by Damsel. So before you start getting all uppity about me selling out and participating in internet chain letters, I’ll have you know that this meme is Damsel-approved. She’s won awards, been published several times on IB and she rides a unicorn to work. A unicorn that eats carbon emissions and poops out fossil fuel. Anyway, here goes.

Eight things I am passionate about:

1. Food
   Because it’s a beautiful, universal and something that everyone on Earth can be passionate about. Whether it’s Coke vs. Pepsi, the right way to BBQ or why the nice people in Top Chef always get kicked out first.

2. Humor
   Because I laugh and joke when it’s least appropriate. Because everything needs to be laughed at eventually. Whether its your childhood embarrassment or a life-destroying catastrophe.

3. Television
   My babysitter, my best friend. It’s what I’ve spent so much of my life in front of, what taught me half of the language and culture I know and what I’ve bonded over. It’s my favorite pasttime.

4. Friends

5. Loyalty

6. Fixing computers

7. Music

Eight things I want to do before I die:

1. Skydive

2. Have kids

3. Catch a train around Europe

4. Drive a very expensive car

5. Love

6. Revenge

7. Reply to a blog meme - Check!

8. Say goodbye.

Eight things I say often:

1. Evidently.
   Usually said in a kidding, charming kind of way but occasionally in a very waspy way.

2. Absolutely.
   A reply in agreement with a suggestion. E.g. “Want to get naked and use our bodies to paint this giant canvas?”

3. Motherfuck
   Because sometimes “fuck!” just isn’t enough to convey the complexities of modern life.

4. Clusterfuck
   Something I inherited from my old boss. Everything we worked on there was a clusterfuck.

5. Bollocks
   I use this to add to my fake British-y charm. I don’t think it’s working.

6. Thanks.
   Is it just me or are most Americans very frugal with the thanking of restaurant people? I thank people for inviting me in, taking my order, re-filling my water, everything. It feels weird to just ignore the waiter or busboy while they do things for you.

7. Awesome
   I wish I could stop saying this word, its meaning has been diluted. I dress it up now with “awesomesauce”, “awesomeboat” or “alsomes”.

8. How’s life?
   Much better than a simple ‘how are you’ because I genuinely would like people to tell me how they are doing.

Eight books I’ve read recently:

1. Me Talk Pretty One Day - David Sedaris
   I’ve heard David Sedaris read several times on This American Life and I always found it blisteringly funny. I am so-so about the book, I think his voice really adds something that is missing in his words.

2. Then We Came To The End - Joshua Ferris
   Oh this is a brilliant book. Think The Office but instead of humor, it’s pettiness and frustration and ugly rumors. It’s closer to an actual office.

3. Kiss Me, I’m Single - Amanda Ford
   Yes, everyone needs to read this book. Whilst it’s targeted towards single women of the marrying age, it works for any single person that can’t stop stressing about the fact that they’re single. Also, it will only take you two hours to read. Must have.

4. On Writing - Stephen King
   If you enjoy thinking about the process of writing, you’ll enjoy this. Even if you’ve never read or hate Stephen King.

5. The Big Bang - Em and Lo
   Umm, this is a sex manual but not in the kinky Kama Sutra way. It’s a rational, light-hearted approach to the topic and if you like sex then you should read it. Unless you already know everything about sex. I’ve re-read it a lot.

6. No One Belongs Here More Than You - Miranda July
   Poignant, beautiful collection of quirky short stories. You will love this book like an ugly three-legged dog; it’s unusual and not what you’d expect but it’s got a heart of gold.

7. Tabloid Tokyo 2
   Pulpy trash that I bought for the flight home from Japan. Full of Japanese tabloid stories that make you think the nation is full of fucked-up perverts.

8. Eats, Shoots & Leaves - Lynne Truss
   People love this book, I enjoyed parts but ultimately got bored of it. I am not a big enough grammar nerd.

Eight Movies I have seen Eight times:

1. Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery
   I still love this movie because it has not been quoted to death.

2. Home Alone
   Why did Macaulay Culkin have to grow up?

3. Forrest Gump
   I am unusually drawn to this movie. I occasionally address my brothers as “Lieutenant Dan”.

4. The Matrix
   Yeah, I’m a geek. I kinda wish they had stopped at one movie.

5. Terminator 2

6. Pulp Fiction
   A movie so good, it makes John Travolta look cool.

7. High Fidelity
   Eh, kinda overrated. I’d put it on par with the underrated Swingers. Although, the sex scene is hilarious and shares top billing with Office Space.

8. The Lion King
   I love most Disney movies that don’t involve princesses.

Eight people who should do this meme:

1. Clink
   Yup, I know this internet meme is totally going to bring her back. Just you watch. We love you, Clink.

2. Deutlich
   Because. She’s my ex-wife and we share a love for one word sentences. No. Seriously. Dude. Also, it will be funny to watch her try and narrow things down to just eight.

3. I’m a Craigslist Whore

4. poodlegoose

5. *purewhitewave
   She’s a barely-contained ball of passion.

6. 20nothing in seattle
   She’s about to stop blogging! Boo.

7. Dennis Hotson
   Aha! A wildcard entry.

8. All my friends that started blogging and forgot about it
   Studds, Lachlan, Hui-Ai, Fay, Addy, Geraldine and Kanye West