It’s so hard for me to build new habits

I struggle to exercise control over my weight, it feels so fruitless because inevitably something shows up to break my concentration whether it’s stress or depression or a vacation or social events.

“It’s so hard for me to build new habits,” is what I think. I like to stay inside my comfort zone and I’m easily overwhelmed. If I want to change, it has to engage me and it also needs to also be automatic and the path of least resistance. It has to be exciting but obvious. Challenging but easy.

“It’s so hard for me to build new habits,” is what I thought as I bundled up my blue chalk stick succulent. I’ve been decorating my home with succulents lately, filling up my window sill with hardy, drought-resistant plants.

This is my second blue chalk stick. The first one was one of the first plants I brought home, it shriveled up and died very quickly due to very little light and probable over-watering. This second one has been a challenge too, it’s not in the best of shape but at least I’ve got the watering schedule down. I’ve been reading up and checking on it regularly to help it develop a nice tan. The west-facing window at the office should help.

Years ago, I had decided I didn’t want any plants at home because I’d just kill them. An office morale thing changed my mind, we were encouraged to decorate the space and I was tasked with raising a single aloe. It didn’t die so then I inherited everyone else’s plants. I killed those plants, but at a slower rater of neglect than I’d expected. More recently, I was poking and prodding at the newly-dead batch at home; deciding to give up because these plants were seemingly dying for no reason at all.

This past year, I’ve grown my collection to 20-ish plants, I’ve been paying attention to the amount of sun and the mineral content in my water, I’ve been trying to develop good gardening instincts. And I’ve been nurturing this blue chalk stick back into good health.

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