#4

Batman Eye Make-Up
Christian Bale in The Dark Knight

Look, he’s clearly wearing make-up all over his eyes. There’s even a huge close-up on his eyes on The Dark Knight Rises where his eyelids are clearly painted black. Why is it that whenever the mask is off, Bruce Wayne doesn’t have big panda eyes?

I mean, just admit it. It can still be macho, like how footballers wear those black stripes on their faces. Or soldiers. Super macho. Just admit it, Christopher Nolan.

#3

You ever play Apples to Apples? I thoroughly dislike it. I don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s a game for unfunny people. How does the game work? Everyone gets a pack of nouns, then one player is the judge. The judge plays an adjective card and everyone else tries to play the most hilarious noun to go with it. The judge picks the most apt card as the winner, it’s totally subjective.

You Look Nice Today summed it up beautifully:

Adam: I don’t get Apples to Apples, I don’t get it. I mean, I get it…

Merlin: What is that? Is that a card game?

Adam: It’s like a wordplay game, really. It’s all premade jokes and answers, like setups and punch lines and the fun is in pairing them… randomly.

Merlin: That sounds like hell.

Adam: Yeah, it’s a game of non sequiturs…

 

Humor to me is surprise and creativity. It’s insightful and speaks to a deeper need in us. A card game like this feels like a lower form of comedy. It’s fun for about 15 minutes until all the surprise has been sucked out and then you beat the dead horse for the remaining 45 minutes in the game. Then some jackass suggests we start a new round.

It feels like playing Scrabble where all the words are already spelled out. Or randomly pairing the results of two dice rolls and laughing at it. Or spending all night laughing at “that’s what she said” and “yo mama” jokes.

I feel the same way about Cards Against Humanity, which operates on the same premise but has a much more diverse deck with edgy content about sex and perversion and politics. There’s more room for humor and insight there but it’s still too much toilet humor, giggling about taboo topics like a bunch of 9-year-olds learning new swear words.

Then again, these games are all really subjective. Maybe my problem is that my sense of humor is just so far off from the people around me. Maybe I’m not drunk enough. Maybe I’m just hardwired to dislike these games.

 

#2

I’m in that mood again where I am convincing myself that I need to read and write more.

Reading is a no-brainer. It helps me remove this anxiety that I need to be bombarded with stimulus; sight and sound and always multitasking. Doing 10 things at once and doing them all badly. Reading in silence puts me into a very singular focus. My eyes and my attention are focused, my hands are full. It’s the twitchy hands that succumb first to boredom.

Writing is a different thing. Writing feels far more ego-driven. It feels like I can’t write for the sake of writing, it must be to share stories or keep secrets or preach advice. Reading makes me feel smarter, writing makes me feel… needy. And elitist.

I want to get back to unashamedly writing stories again, like I did in high school. Except they’ll be relevant to who I am today. Which poses some interesting questions for me. I used to write to process feelings I had that I couldn’t verbalize but now I’m much better acquainted with my emotions and also much more jaded about them. So should I continue to use writing to process other things in my life? Plus, the inner critic whispers at me, louder than ever.

Maybe I should just write more about who I am now. I’ve changed considerably since I last blogged regularly. And I think my family and old friends haven’t quite grasped the extent of this. I feel I’ve crossed some important milestones in my last few years, ones that everyone should cross in their twenties. Maybe I can write about that.

What I don’t want to do is forever write about hesitation and not spending enough time writing. I’ve allowed myself this current indulgence as I dip my toe back into these waters but I don’t want to always obsess about the process, I want to produce some meaningful results for myself and hopefully for others.

#1

New beginnings. The old stuff wasn’t doing anything for me so I shelved it. I can start over now. Which is fine because I’m not the person I was 5, 7, 10 years ago.

I’m still in Seattle. I’ve bought a place. I have amazing people in my life. I do great work that helps co-workers talk to one another. I’ve changed my diet considerably. Life is good.